Signs Of Infidelity

The Infidelity Story

2010-10-13T23:45:00.001-07:00

By: Terry Ross

The crushing blow came after 10 years of marriage, infidelity had struck again. For society as a whole it was nothing new marriage after marriage is destroyed by infidelity but it's different when it strikes so close to home.

The first few days were the hardest the days after someone had felt the need to let the secret about the infidelity out and after he had finally had to come clean about the affair. It wasn't even that he didn't even love her, he said, he didn't want their marriage to be over, he had never meant for it to happen.

She was devastated, she couldn't think straight, she couldn't eat and she couldn't sleep. Infidelity, how could he do this to her, how could he sleep with someone else and then come crawling back into her bed.

Her mother looked after the children for a few days, just to give her time to think and protect them from the trauma. She just had to have space, time to come to terms with what had happened. For some infidelity might not seem such a big deal but she was shocked, she had no idea what was going on, she thought she was happily married, she felt emotionally destroyed, as if her world was going to end, she was grieving for her loss.

It was days before she could pull herself together enough to try and think about what she should do. She'd been married for so long she felt like her right arm had been ripped off. Infidelity hits people in different ways, some angry, some calm acceptance while others are stunned, she was stunned into shock.

It was a while before she felt she could ask the question 'why', she needed to know to try and understand what had happened, why it had happened, why an affair, why she wasn't enough. If she was to move on and survive infidelity she had to get some answers.

Apparently it just happened, a common enough answer, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and in a moment of weakness he gave into temptation. He said the affair was over, it was a short fling, it didn't mean anything, he would never do it again, he loved her and he would do anything to save their marriage. He pleaded with her to forgive his infidelity.

She had a hard choice to make:

• firstly did she believe him,
• secondly could she ever trust him again
• thirdly was she capable of forgiving infidelity

He said he still loved her and she knew that a week ago she was happily married and loved him. She knew she could forgive him almost anything, but infidelity, it was asking too much. She thought long and hard, she considered the children, she thought about life without him and remembered the good times they had together and then she thought about him in bed with another woman. The same image came popping back into her head like a never ending nightmare.

It was a few weeks later when she finally decided that they would give it another go. In her heart of hearts she knew he wouldn't have gone looking for someone else to jump into bed with. She knew infidelity would be really hard to forgive but he promised that he would never look at another woman again and deep down she did believe him.

She decided to enlist some help, just so that she had support and guidance on how to survive infidelity. It might seem strange to some but she really needed someone to tell her to do this and do that, in her mind it made it less personal, more of challenge rather than a crisis.

For her the right approach was to save her marriage, for her, for her kids and for the family but it only worked because she made a conscious decision that she could and would learn to forgive infidelity and learn to trust him again.

About the Author

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Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/ - The Infidelity Story

10 Ways To Tell If Your Marriage Is In Trouble

2010-10-12T22:38:00.000-07:00

By Lucy Johnston

Although the divorce rate in the UK has slowly started to fall, and was recently declared as being at its lowest for 29 years, marriages are still vulnerable and many do come to an end.

Here are 10 questions that may help you to ascertain whether your marriage is in trouble:

1. Do you feel your partner treats you worse than you treat them?

2. Does nearly every discussion end in an argument or fight?

3. Do you feel more confident by yourself than you do with your partner?

4. Does your partner bring up hurtful things from the past?

5. Do you and your spouse find it difficult to make compromises for one another?

6. Do you no longer share the same lifetime, moral or ethical values?

7. Do you no longer want the same things from your life together, such as children or a relocation?

8. Do you find it difficult to meet your partners high expectations of what they want in a spouse?

9. Have you lost trust or respect in your partner, perhaps due to infidelity?

10. Do you feel like your partner has lost trust or respect for you and you don't know how to get it back?

If the answer to some or all of these questions is 'yes', then you may be faced with a decision over whether to try and find a solution or bring an end to your marriage.

Nobody sets out in a marriage hoping or expecting to get divorced, so if the marriage can be saved, then you and your partner should communicate and discuss the problems at length.

However, if you have decided that a marriage is over, or even if your partner has made that decision, then you may need to seek legal support and advice.

In which case, it may be time to speak to an experienced family solicitor or divorce solicitor about your situation and your rights.

Mace and Jones has a team of experienced and friendly family solicitors and divorce solicitors that can help. So if you need support, why not visit MaceandJones.co.uk today?

Article Source: 10 ways to tell if your marriage is in trouble

Dealing With Infidelity – How do You Eliminate Those Disturbing Images?

2010-10-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

By Coleta Stewart

If you are the victim of an affair, it is not uncommon to carry around images of your spouse and his paramour together in your head constantly. Sometimes the hardest part of dealing with infidelity is getting those haunting images and thoughts of the two of them together out of your mind. You are not alone, other affair victims feel exactly the way you do.

Finding out that your spouse is having or had an affair is one of life's most stressful experiences. It is normal to want to know all the details but once you do, it consumes your very being. It's like a horror show or a bad dream that just don't want to go away. You imagine them having fun together, that everything is so wonderful between them, better than it ever could have been with the two of you.

So now you're stuck with this fantasy of the person whom you loved and trusted with every ounce of your being with someone else other than you. Your images can take many forms but if you are a woman, most likely you imagine the other woman to be physically perfect in every way, younger and more desirable than you. This may or may not be the case though. At times you may feel that dealing with infidelity along with the feelings and images in your head will never go away.

These recurring images and thoughts can drain the life out of you, and then you feel more vulnerable and find the images even more difficult to escape. In the beginning it is going to take a great deal of effort on your part to gain back the power over the images in your head. One thing that you can do is to block out a period of time where you can sit quietly by yourself without any interruptions. Try to find a spot that is secluded and where you feel comfortable and relaxed. Once you're all settled and relaxed, it is time to let those images in. This is empowering because you are in control, you decide when and how they can invade your mind.

For other ways to exorcise those images from your head you may need to seek the help of a professional marriage counselor or consult other programs on dealing with infidelity. Even though you and your spouse may have reconciled, you will most likely still see those images for a long time. But it can be done. With the right kind of help you can learn the steps necessary for eliminating those disturbing images from your mind.

Get immediate help right now so you can start the process of dealing with infidelity and it's aftermath. Learn how to restore the trust and save your marriage from divorce. Visit: http://www.emotionalaffairadvice.com/ right now and get instant access to download the FREE 7- Part Survive an Affair course.

Article Source: http://www.articledashboard.com/Article/Dealing-With-Infidelity-–-How-do-You-Eliminate-Those-Disturbing-Images?/1865041

Your Responsibility In The Face of Marital Infidelity

2010-10-09T18:17:00.000-07:00

By Lindy S. Diffenbaugh

Do you or someone you know struggle with infidelity in marriage? To an outsider looking in the family may look perfect. The husband is a great provider, each of the children is healthy and happy and they make excellent grades in school. The mother stayed home and loved and nurtured them herself. The family goes to church every Sunday and in fact they play an integral role in the church community. Life is good; at least it looks that way to the family friends.

In fact it even seems to be good until a call comes into the home. The wife answers the phone. The woman on the other end claims that she has been involved with her husband for several months. In fact she knows the names of their children and their favorite colors. She claims that she and the husband are having an affair. To add insult to injury, she says that he would marry her, but he does not want to lose half of everything that he has worked for.

When the husband is confronted he admits that everything the woman had said was true. He agrees to end the affair so that he can keep his reputation in the community intact. He believes that now that he has come clean, that everything in the home should go back to normal. He believes now that he is no longer engaging in an illicit affair that his wife should be grateful.

She is filled with grief, hurt, anger, disappointment, and sometimes she is filled with just nothing. He seems to feel that she should just snap out of it so that they can go on with life. The children know that something is wrong, but they can't quite figure it out. She cannot discuss the situation with anyone, because he is a respected businessman in the community and he holds a position of leadership in the church. She is captured in a living hell. She has no one to turn to. There is no one to listen to the story that is eating her up and destroying her from the inside out.

How does it come to this? How does the foundation of a marriage that was seemingly built upon the solid rock of Christ and the Word of God dissolve into tomb of death where nothing is left but a clump of confused, yet silent emotions? How does one partner become so raw and inconsolable and the other so detached, cold, and unsympathetic?

If it was true love that brought this couple together, and if their commitment to each other, Christ, and the vows that they made before God were sincere, then I can think of one reason for it all to be reduced to a place of weakness and potential dissolution. The Word of God tells us that our enemy goes about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. Marriages are a prime target for his destruction. I believe this is true because marriages are the king pin of our society.

In a marriage, a family comes forth and children are born. Relationships are established and sustained in a family. Society and the Church itself are strengthened by the vitality and strength of the family unit. I believe that the enemy's ultimate goal is the destruction of the Church and the society where it resides. His strategy is to destroy the church one marriage at time. He could weaken the family slowly by cutting away its income source, create financial strain and tension in the home, and pit family members against each other. This can wear family members out until everyone forgets why they ever loved each other in the first place. This strategy takes time and often fails in a home that is fortified by the Triune God.

The strategy to lead one of the partners into an adulterous affair is quick and effective and more often than not it is a deathblow to the marital relationship as well as the health and vitality of the children. With the one blow of an adulterous affair the enemy sets into motion the destruction of the marriage, the joy in the home, the family's influence in the church, security of the children, and the position and influence that they possessed to impact their community with their depth and commitment to Great Commission.

This message is written with one intention. To draw attention to a potential threat to not only your marriage but every marriage built upon faith. It is written with the hope that it will encourage you to cover your marriage and family with prayer and resist every temptation to throw in the towel and look for something better, more satisfying, and exciting outside of the marriage. Pray with passionate faith that as you open your mouth and speak the truths promised in God's Word, that you are mobilizing cosmic forces that will surround your marriage and ensure that no weapon of hell formed against your marriage will prosper. Never lose sight of the fact that your enemy is not your flesh and blood spouse. Your enemy is poised to attack through principalities, and powers, and the rulers of the dark places of this world. Specifically they are the serpents and scorpions that Christ gave you the authority to tread upon.

Look beyond the other woman/man. That is not your enemy. Wake up to the reality that darkness has infiltrated your home with the intention to destroy it. Take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God and do battle for God's purposes for your life and marriage. Finally, look up to the reality that God has an expected end. He will see you through to overcoming victory as long as you do not faint in the midst of the battle.

If you are the victim of marital infidelity and don't know where to turn. Check out my resource box. I can help.

Whether you are facing an enduring habit, a chronic depression or an unexpected crisis, this is a day when the waters that you travel can become turbulent. Despite your best efforts, you are often faced with overwhelming circumstances and mountains that appear to be insurmountable. The result is anxiety, despair, and disappointment. Whatever the issues you are currently facing, you are not alone. A guiding light and a helping hand can be found. Sound counseling, Biblical insight, and therapeutic principles have been established to help you make your life more manageable and put it back on the right course. Don't get lost in the web of darkness, pain and confusion. Telephone counseling is just a phone call away. E-mail counsel is also available at affordable rates. CALL NOW 1-904-463-0930 and let's get you Anchored for Life. (Phone and email counseling are available at affordable rates) Also visit: http://www.LindyDiffenbaugh.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?Your-Responsibility-In-The-Face-of-Marital-Infidelity&id=5135794

Detecting Inconsistent Statements From Your Spouse

2010-01-29T00:09:00.000-08:00

In one of the previous posts, I have talked about lying being one of the signs of cheating. So, if you want to explore further on this possibility, you can try keeping a record of your spouse's statements. Constant lying is not an easy thing to do. Some people may be able to lie with ease and without any obvious signs that s/he has something to hide. But do it often enough and there are bound to be holes appearing in the many statements made.

This is because when a person lies, s/he needs to tell more and more lies to cover up the original lie. For example, consider this typical conversation below:

You: You came back at 10pm yesterday. Where have you been?
Partner: I had a meeting with my boss at the office.
You: What did he tell you?
Partner: Oh, nothing much. The usual stuff.
You: When do you have to see your boss again?
Partner: Maybe tomorrow.

So, as you can see, one question creates one lie and further follow-up questions create further lies. Hence, the problem for the cheater is it would be impossible to remember every lie told. Imagine if after a few days, you found out through another casual conversation that your partner's boss has been on leave since the week before. This means that your partner has lied to cover up something else that is going on.

It is not difficult to detect lies if you are alert and you have a good memory to be able to recall conversations of days past. Of course, if you can't, you just need to write down some basic notes of your conversations. Then, try to bring up similar topics that touches on previous conversations you have noted down from a day or two ago and see if you can spot some inconsistent statements from there.

Usually, when a person continues to lie, it is difficult to keep track of what has been said to whom. This is when you can spot a liar and cheater - through his/her own inconsistent statements made over a period of time.

Why You Should Forget About Confronting The Other Woman / Man

2010-01-27T20:08:00.000-08:00

When you discover that cheating is happening in your relationship, it is normal to want to confront the other person that your partner is seeing. The urge is to thrash it out with the person concerned and ask him/her to leave your partner alone.

However, it is usually pointless to confront the other woman or man. At most, you get things off your chest and give the person a piece of your mind. Or you end up having a good chat with the other person and seek understanding. Whatever you managed to do when you confront the other person, it doesn't solve the root problem of your own relationship.

And this is what you should concentrate on when you discover that your partner is cheating. The focus should be on what is wrong in your own relationship rather than the other person who happens to become a part of your partner's life. Fix what is wrong in your own life, and not create havoc that involves a third party.

Furthermore, when you confront the other woman or man, you can bet that your partner will hear about it. Because you cannot be sure what the other person will end up telling your partner, you may be creating a further reason for your partner to be angry with you and further destroy your own relationship. No matter what you feel towards the other person, you shouldn't be giving him/her further ammunition to make you feel worthless in the eyes on your own partner.

Thus, don't be tempted to confront the other person. Confronting him/her won't give you the answer to the problems in your relationship and what s/he tells you may or may not be the truth. It is your partner you need to focus on to get back his/her affection and make him/her wants to be with you. And if you think you want a breakup, the more reason you should forget the other person because what s/he does with your partner will have nothing more to do with you.

Mood Swings As One Of The Signs Of Infidelity

2010-01-25T18:05:00.000-08:00

Many people who have gone through infidelity in their marriages often knew that something was not quite right with their spouses when the cheating started. It is normal for a person to act differently and strangely when s/he is cheating because of the emotional changes and/or upheaval that is going on privately in his/her mind. Guilt, confusion, anger and other feelings will creep in slowly, but surely.

That is why it is not uncommon for a cheater to experience mood swings or changes in emotions when cheating is happening. You have to understand that cheating can result in much stress in a person because it is not easy to live a lie. Imagine lying everyday to the person sleeping next to you and perhaps to your own kids.

Furthermore, a cheater will end up having a broad range of emotions when an affair is going on. From feeling guilty towards the spouse to happiness when being with the lover, it is not easy controlling the emotions that keep swinging in the mind.

The other reason for the mood swings could be due to the cheater wanting an excuse (consciously or unconsciously) to get out of the relationship with you. This makes it harder for you to cope with the marriage resulting in you too wanting a way out. Sometimes, this helps to alleviate the guilt in the cheater because you too are looking to escape from the unhappy situation because of your perceived inability to make your marriage a blissful one.

Therefore, if you think your spouse may be cheating on you, pay close attention to his/her moods and emotions. Ask yourself why your spouse is showing certain emotions at certain times and if there is a valid reason for them. This way, you can probably get a few answers as to your spouse's behavior, especially if you notice other changes happening as well at the same time.

Learning How To Detect Lies Will Bring You Closer To The Truth

2010-01-23T00:08:00.000-08:00

One thing you need to be aware of if your spose is cheating is that there will be heaps of lies being told. Bear in mind that when a person cheats, even simple routine questions will need to be answered with a lie. For example, it is natural to ask why your partner may be late coming home from work in daily conversations at home. If your partner is indeed cheating, s/he will need to lie to cover up the affair.

Imagine other simple questions that regularly crop up in daily conversations between two people in a marriage. Where have you been, why were you late, who called, where are you going, etc are common everyday questions that your spouse will need to answer. Therefore, when cheating is taking place, umpteen lies will be told.

So, what does that mean to you? It means lying and cheating go together and if you suspect infidelity in your marriage, you must learn how to detect lies. Nervousness, breaking eye contact, evasiveness, and inconsistent statements are some of the clues that someone is lying.

It may be hard to know when a stranger is telling you untruths but to detect lying in your own spouse shouldn't be too difficult if you know what to look out for. These things can be learned and there are tons of information on the web to help you along. It is just up to you to gather the knowledge and put it to use.

Remember because a person can't cheat if s/he doesn't lie, lying will always be one of the signs of cheating. So, if you learn the skills in lie detection, you will have one more reason to believe cheating is going on if you are also seeing other signs emerging in your marriage.

Change Of Appearance - Why Is It A Sign Of Cheating?

2010-01-15T21:16:00.000-08:00

If you go through most of the lists on cheating signs, you will realize that a change of appearance is commonly listed in them. It seems that generally cheaters would change their appearances when they are seeing someone else. Now, why is it so when a change of appearance would be obvious to the spouse or regular partner? Aren't the cheater afraid that the partner will be curious why s/he finds a need to have a different style all of a sudden?

I guess the answer is a change of appearance is easy to explain and few would automatically assume that their partners are cheating just because there is a change in hairstyle, for example. Moreover, all it takes is for the cheater to say that s/he wants to try something new and that would be enough to quell the curiosity of most people.

So, a change in appearance is a low risk action to take for a cheater. S/He will deem it a chance worth taking when it means s/he will be able to impress the person he is seeing. When you have just started a love relationship with someone new or you are still in the pursuit stage, the need to impress is there. For a cheater, it is no different.

The other reason why an appearance change and often, personal grooming is suddenly emphasized is because of the need to please. When people are in a new relationship, there is usually a tendency to want to look their best when out on a date. Think of the time when you were just into a new love affair. Didn't you too try to look your best so that your partner would be pleased that you took the effort to look good for him/her? The same concept applies to a cheater as well.

Lastly, the influence of the new person in your partner's life should also be taken into account. Just as you could influence the people closest to you, so can your partner be influenced by the person s/he is seeing. Whether it is about dressing style or hairdo, it is natural for lovers to listen to each other's opinion. Because the other person may have different tastes or move in different social circles, your partner can easily get influenced by what s/he sees and hears.

That is why a change in appearance is often cited as a common sign of infidelity. It is certainly difficult for a cheater to be his/her usual self when there is a need to impress and please, not to mention to be influenced by a new love that makes him/her feel just different.

Why You Should Check The Phone When You Suspect Infidelity

2010-01-12T20:25:00.000-08:00

One of the common signs of infidelity these days is secretive phone calls. The whisperings, sudden hang-ups when you approach and lying about calls that came through are some of the typical behaviors displayed by cheaters.

But some cheaters can also be very careful about their affairs. They don't make and receive calls from their lovers through the home phone. It is simply not done because the risk of being caught is too high.

However, a cheating partner still needs to communicate with the person s/he is seeing and the more common practice these days is to use the personal cell phone instead. Some cheaters even go to the extent of buying another cell phone and registering a new number just to keep everything well-hidden.

This is because a cell phone offers more privacy and flexibility. A cheater can choose to turn off the phone when s/he knows you are around or carry it with him/her to a more private area to chat. It can also be used to send text messages quietly. In other words, it offers a wonderful tool to communicate with the person your partner is cheating with but it is also an excellent opportunity for you to confirm the possibility of an affair going on.

Therefore, if you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you and you want some idea if there are grounds for your suspicion, try to get hold of your partner's cell phone. It is a good place to start to dig for information.

A Good Place To Start Spying

We all kow the wealth of information a cell phone holds. Call list, phone numbers, text messages and even photos can be stored inside it. If you can get your hands on the phone, you can then look out for suspicious numbers and messages as well as pattern and frequency of calls to those numbers.

If the cell phone doesn't reveal much because your partner has deleted the records as a precaution, then you can always check the phone bill instead. Most phone bills these days have itemized billings and from there, you will be able to find out some of the same information you could have gotten from the cell phone itself such as suspicious numbers and frequency of calls. Getting an itemized bill is not hard, and you can try to request for one from the phone company if the current bill offers no details.

Therefore, the cell phone is probably one of the first few places you should start digging for information when you suspect infidelity in your relationship. It is much less risky than tailing your partner and some other spying methods while possibly giving you much information you can use to probe further. It may even let you have confirmation and evidence of cheating taking place through text messages and photos stored. Hence, start by looking into the cell phone records, if you can!

Spying On Your Spouse: Should You Do It?

2010-01-11T20:52:00.000-08:00

At what stage should you start spying on your spouse when there is a suspicion of infidelity? Should you even consider spying at all? For many people, they will simply throw ethics out of the window and start spying the moment they suspect their partners to be having an affair.

This is because spying gives an answer - a certainty to a situation that is murky. It is practical to find out the truth because only with the truth, you will know what to do and how to move forward. For example, you can only decide to stay or go when it comes to your marriage if you know whether your spouse is really cheating on you or otherwise.

So, no matter the ethical considerations and risks, many people would choose to spy because it is hard to live with an uncertainty in their relationships. Not knowing can even destroy a relationship further because suspicions can fester until complete trust is missing. It will be hard for a relationship to remain healthy if a heavy dose of distrust is present.

But if you spy, you will be crossing a line. It will clearly show your belief that your spouse cannot be trusted. You would also have intruded on his/her privacy and with that, you are not respecting his/her rights. Moving on further, if your spouse turns out to be 100% faithful, you would have made an error of judgement. Will you then come clean and confess about your spying and thus, risk anger from your spouse? Or would you keep it a secret and simply feel the guilt quietly for having wrongfully distrust your spouse? In other words, you will have another set of problems if you spy and ends up being mistaken about your suspicion.

How To Proceed?

Given the pros and cons of spying on your spouse, how should you proceed then? The best way would be to try and find a balance. Don't spy when all you have is merely a vague suspicion. Don't assume cheating happened just because your spouse went on a business trip. You need a further basis to commence spying on your spouse, not merely a general feeling that s/he is cheating that you can't explain.

So, try to go slow and not act rashly. There must be a good reason to commence spying whereby the odds are there is an affair going on in secret. This reason may differ from case to case but basically, it provides you with reasonable grounds to believe cheating is happening. There must be a combination of signs, actions and/or behaviors from your spouse that you can pinpoint to assume that cheating is taking place. For example, your spouse is now always working late, but you can't seem to reach him in the office when he claims to be with no satisfactory explanation given. As more signs crop up from there, then only you should start spying and gather concrete evidence of the cheating.

In conclusion, spying on your spouse can be done, but with caution and careful evaluation of the situation. It shouldn't be done just to satisfy your insecurity. It should only be done when initial assessment of the situation points to a high probability of an affair going on.

Constant Arguments A Sign Of Infidelity?

2010-01-11T19:48:00.000-08:00

If you are always arguing with your partner, is it merely because you have a hard time getting along or is it because there is something else going on that you are unaware of? Do you know that many cheaters use arguments as a way to deflect attention from themselves AND as an excuse to leave the house?

Think about it. If your partner wants time away from you to see the other person but do not want to arouse your suspicion, what can s/he do to leave home for a little while? Create an argument, of course! Why? Because an argument provides a "legitimate" excuse to get out of the house to calm down and your partner doesn't need to tell a long-winded story of why s/he needs to leave in the first place.

I have even heard of stories whereby a cheater will cause an argument on Friday night or Saturday morning so that s/he can then sneak away to share the weekend with someone else. For those who have such partners, it is certainly painful to know that they are capable of such hurtful acts. Not only the arguments can cause much pain, but sometimes, your self-esteem and self-confidence can also take a blow as your partner needs to constantly blame you for one thing or other in order to purposely create fights.

How To Know?

Well, if you seem to be arguing a lot with your partner these days and you also suspect an affair is going on, try to see if you can detect a pattern in all your disagreements. For example, do the fights always occur during certain days of the week or around his/her days off?

The other thing to consider is who is usually the culprit who starts off the argument. Is it you or your partner? If it is your partner who is constantly picking up a fight although you know you have been increasingly tolerant, then you may want to find out more about what is really going on.

Next, try to recall all those arguments that you have had. What were they about? Bear in mind that in order to raise an argument, a cheater needs to find an excuse to start one off. This means even the most petty of things that shouldn't be of concern will suddenly become a cause of argument.

Lastly, try to remember when your partner starts making it a habit to leave the house after each disagreement. Did s/he used to do the same in the past when your relationship was still on solid grounds? Is s/he using the argument now as an excuse to get out of the house each time without fail? Are there any other signs of cheating that have appeared around the same time that these arguments started taking place?

Sometimes, cheaters are desperate to see the other person and they need to think of ways to get some time away. They will have to be smart and creative to create "valid" excuses for their absence that won't raise your suspicion. Therefore, you too need to be smart to see through their intention. If one argument too many is happening in your relationship right now, check to see if cheating might be the real cause behind it!

Signs Of Female Infidelity

2010-01-11T19:02:00.000-08:00

Previously, when we talk about cheating, we automatically assume that it is the men who cheat. But today, this assumption is no longer true. Women cheat, just as men do. Generally, the signs of female infidelity is also the same as for the male - unexplained absences, suspicious phone calls, secretive online activities, lying, etc.

Women are just as capable to deceive as men when it comes to an affair. If there is a difference between men and women who cheat, it is in the recklessness of the act. Because women are more risk-averse in general, they are less likely to act carelessly. When they cheat, they will plan things out more meticulously because it is in their nature to be detail-oriented. On the other hand, men will tend to be bolder and carry on an affair without thinking much about the little details that might arouse suspicion.

So, if women are more careful, does it mean that it is harder to detect signs of female infidelity? Possibly, but as with all cheating cases, there is only so much one can hide. Eventually, things will come up in the open because it is hard to lead a double life day after day. Something has to give and the signs will appear one by one as time goes by.

While there is not much difference between the signs of infidelity in men and women, you can still look out for change in characteristics that are prevalent in women. In a relationship, women like intimacy, bonding, lots of touches and hugs. If a woman is in love with you, these things come naturally. But once they fall out of love, emotional detachment and a lack of intimacy follow. So, one of the typical signs of female infidelity is when things become mechanical. Mechanical in the sense that she still does what is expected of her daily, but her heart is clearly somewhere else. She no longer feels the need to connect with you. Although both of you may still talk to each other, there are no meaningful conversations. Her time with you is reduced to the routine stuff that is devoid of any feelings of love, attachment and intimacy as she now reserves those for another man.

In other words, it is this subtle change you have to be alert to when it comes to more specific signs of female infidelity. This is not to say that cheating men don't exhibit this same sign when they are having an affair. But because men are usually more reserved overall that it is easier to spot this subtle change in a cheating woman than man.

Be Careful When Intrepreting A Sign Of Cheating

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It is not easy when you see a sign of cheating surfacing in your relationship. You will be confused and unsure what to make out of the sign that you see. Should you investigate further or should just drop your suspicion and carry on with your life?

For instance, if you notice that your partner is changing his/her appearance, how are you going to interpret what is taking place before your very own eyes? Is s/he cheating, or is it just a sudden motivation to want to look better?

In a relationship, it is certainly not healthy to have distrust that every little act out of the ordinary becomes a focal point of further investigation. We need to be able to strike a balance between what is genuine concern and what is trivial. While I have written before that the signs of infidelity will always be there, it doesn't mean we should immediately assume that cheating is taking place the moment we see what seems like a sign appearing.

Caution Needed

Therefore, to lessen the risk of getting it wrong, we should be careful when it comes interpreting the signs that we come across. One way to reduce this risk is to file suspicious acts at the back of your mind first. If you see that your partner is changing his/her appearance as described above, be curious, but there is no necessity at this stage to accuse him/her. Finding out if your partner is cheating or otherwise is like putting a jigsaw puzzle together. You have to make sure the pieces fit before you can get the correct picture.

Hence, if something troubles you, look for corroborating evidence before you try to interpret that one single sign that you see. A desire to look good may be followed by more time at the gym. Then, you may notice increased overtime at work. Next, the credit card may show unexplained expenses on those overtime nights.

In other words, you cannot rely on one single sign that appears to come to a conclusion that your partner is cheating. You have to look for a pattern and interpret those signs in combination. Depending on your circumstances, different signs may emerge. They will show up gradually over time, if cheating is indeed happening, and the link will normally be obvious. Then, taken as a whole, they will be able tell you quite clearly what exactly is going on compared to interpreting a single sign alone.

The Signs Of Infidelity Will Be There

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I used to have a co-worker who didn't know that her husband was having an affair until almost two years later. The affair could have gone on, if not for an anonymous phone call that came through to her office to warn her what was going on in her marriage.

She was devastated. But after the matter has died down, and she looked back at what went wrong, then only she began to realize that the signs of infidelity were there all along. She just chose not to see them for what they are.

If you have been in a relationship for a number of years and/or you trust your partner completely, you will have a tendency to explain away all the signs of cheating that appear. Because it is natural to trust your other half, you will see these signs as unimportant. You may even blame your imagination for running wild or think of them as not deserving your attention. You will end up telling yourself that "It's nothing!"

On top of that, you will always have this feeling that infidelity is something that only happens to others, not me, especially if your relationship is cruising along with no apparent arguments and unhappiness. So, when you see signs of an affair appearing, they won't be consistent with your view of your own situation at home. That is why you tend to ignore the signs because they don't seem to fit in with your belief that everything is well and your partner is not the type who cheats.

The Signs Will Show Up

However, bear in mind that if a mate cheats, the signs will eventually show up. It can be weeks or months before the signs start appearing, but they will be there for you to pick up. How soon you discover an affair that is going on in secret will depend on how alert you are and how much probing you want to do when something not quite right crops up.

For example, in the case of my ex-co-worker, her husband used the classic excuse of overtime to cheat. So, the sign of infidelity is constant late nights at the office. But she chose to ignore it because there was no solid basis to suspect anything amiss. Then, the hard to reach scenario played out followed by those "funny" phone calls. The signs started showing up one by one. They were there, but she just wasn't alert enough to tie everything together.

This is typical in many cheating cases. The signs of infidelity do appear, but partners are not sufficiently concerned by them to start an investigation. So, how you choose to look at those signs will determine how long your mate can carry on an affair before getting discovered.

Contact

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If you wish to contact us, you can email us at mailbox2.admin(at)gmail.com. Should you have any queries, we will attempt to get back to you as soon as we can.

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About

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This blog is all about signs of infidelity and other related issues regarding cheating and extra-marital affairs. It aims to provide a place for people to find out more about the signs that are beginning to emerge in their relationships and/or when suspicion begans to take hold that an affair is going on quietly behind their backs.

Suspecting that your mate is cheating on you is never an easy situation to handle and we hope this site can provide some useful information as a starting point when it comes to the signs of infidelity. Once you move past the signs, then other considerations may come into the picture, such as spying and relationship repair, which we may also mention and point you to the right resources to help you along.

We would also appreciate any comments and if you can share your experiences, that would be wonderful. Cheating is a very common problem today and there are many others who also have to grapple with this same issue in their relationships. By sharing, people would know that they are not alone in this situation and hopefully, can learn a thing or two from the experiences of others who are going or have gone through a similar journey.

Disclaimer

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The information contained on this blog is for general information purposes only. The author makes no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the information contained on the blog for any purpose. Any reliance you place on such information is therefore strictly at your own risk.

Any advice or suggestions made on this blog are not professional counseling or a substitute for professional counsel, and you agree to hold the author harmless from any alleged damages or injuries.

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